The evidence says it all! Without prejudice or provocation, Coleman broke our signed and notarized agreement. He spit up on me. (For the backstory click here)
As many of you know, when Cole was born, he and I entered into an agreement that stated I would do all of my fatherly duties as long as he saved spitting up his formula for other people to enjoy.
In the beginning, things went swimmingly. I fed him, burped him, played with him and anything else I could think of to hold up my end of the bargain.
Cole was a champ. He held out to his end of the agreement perfectly. I mean, being an infant he couldn’t stop spitting up altogether, but he never spit up on me. Unfortunately for Kolette’s sake she wasn’t a part of the agreement and therefore was spit up on all the time.
Then, a few weeks ago, for some reason or another, Cole decided to treat our agreement just like your average Huggies diaper–and crapped all over it. There was no prelude, no warning, nothing. Just a shoulder filled with regurgitated formula.
Wanting to nip this problem in the bud, I decided that Cole and I needed to go into renegotiations. Like any other deliberation, both sides had to give a little. But, in the end we ended up with an agreement both sides could live with.
A little older and a little wiser, this time I decided to get the terms and conditions of our accord written down on paper and signed by both parties. With more than just a verbal agreement, I was as confident as ever.
Then, two days ago, for reasons unbeknownst to me today, Cole spit up all over my newly dry cleaned Tommy Bahama pullover (See Exibit #1).
I consulted an attorney and, although he feels I have an ironclad case, I decided against taking Coleman to court. First, these are the things you have to expect when you enter legal agreements with family. My son is four months old today and I don’t want to ruin the rest of our relationship over a little “spilt milk.” Second, what assets does he have to go after anyway. There’s a few onesies, assorted diapers with Bag Balm, and a Bumbo but that’s about it.
That’s not to say that I haven’t been eyeing his Bumbo, but it just isn’t worth the effort. I’m going to have to let this one slide, and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Never enter into a contractual agreement with the three-month-old.